I am almost at the end of four weeks of my internship with Moja-Global and the one thing that I have continuously felt throughout the process- Nothing comes easy! Every other day brings a new challenge, a new concept and a new struggle. My journey until now has been nothing less than an amalgam of lots and lots of confusion, scare and success at every little step and by the end of this blog, I’m sure you’ll agree with me on this!
Confusion? Or the fear of asking questions?
Starting from my initial application phase, I have always been confused whether my progress is in the right direction. Filling out this application form felt tougher to me because a few of the essay questions asked me about, “ME” and let’s face it, we have all sat back and wondered whether we really know this person that we call “ME“.
Moving on to the next phase, the Contribution phase, was where the real difficulties started. There was so much happening in all the different organizations that if one does not ask questions they’d be left behind and wouldn’t understand the projects and their requirements and expectations from applicants during this phase. Setting up the project on your system/machine can get very confusing in the beginning even after following the documentation and you might end up facing issues that aren’t mentioned in the documentations directly. These are times when asking for help becomes crucial. Almost everybody gets stuck in these however, thanks to the members of my organization and my mentor who were helpful at all times and never failed to address the issues from the various applicants or open-source enthusiasts who took interest in their projects.
You must be thinking- So it’s easier now since I have got a better direction on what I am supposed to do?
If only it were that easy! 😩 I still feel clueless at times, I still get stuck and I still keep asking doubts to my mentor almost every other day whenever I face an obstacle that I feel I can’t solve. As long as I do my own research behind things and still feel flustered, no question is silly or wrong! So keep learning and asking!
Growth and comfort do not coexist.-Ginni Rometty, CEO of IBM
Scared? Or more like an Impostor Syndrome?
Heard of Impostor Syndrome? As said by Outreachy-
Impostor syndrome is characterized by feelings of self-doubt: feeling that your accomplishments are only due to luck when you've actually put a lot of effort into looking for opportunities and networking, feeling that your work is sub-par when it is actually quite good, and feeling that everyone knows more or works faster than you. They often have trouble asking questions in a public setting, for fear they will be exposed or ridiculed for lacking knowledge.
Every time I get stuck I doubt my abilities, my knowledge and the major reason most of us are scared to ask questions is the fear that we’ll be judged, but it is most definitely the biggest lie we all have been believing for too long now. There’s a 6 step rule I believe in to deal with this feeling-
- Know that you aren’t alone
- Distinguish humility and fear
- Let go of the inner perfectionist and be kind to yourself
- Count your success and celebrate them
- Say ‘YES’ to new things
- Embrace it and use it to not hinder you from achieving your goals.
Even the greatest was once a beginner. Don’t be afraid to take that first step.– Muhammad Ali, an American professional boxer
Set goals, have hopes and you’ll be on a roll!
if (struggle==NULL) progress=0;
My journey has been a roller coaster ride with one question that remained a constant, “How do I manage what’s next?” and my takeaway from all of this? Be persistent in your efforts, keep learning everyday, be determined to face what comes next and believe in yourself. There will be times when you give your all yet you feel that it isn’t enough. Those are the times you need to reflect and appreciate yourself and have faith in the three P’s in life- Prioritization, Perseverance and Persistence.